Client 9

I’ve never liked Eliot Spitzer. He always struck me as a smarmy fucker, a type A personality on speed. So it doesn’t surprise me at all that he turned out to be a colossal hypocrite. Remember that this man brought down at least two escort agencies during his tenure as District Attorney, complete with choice soundbites of moral disgust and outrage for the media’s benefit, and he supported the move to increase minimum sentences for convincted johns. No, I’m afraid I have no sympathy for the man; indeed, he elicits nothing from me but what someone far more clever than I am has termed “spitzenfreude”.

As a former prostitute, I have no problems with prostitution, or men who employ the services of prostitutes. Yet I’m floored that Mr. Spitzer would take such a risk. If I had to guess, I would venture that he represents the flip side of the coin of the Hugh Grant/Divine Brown type of thrill-seeking, classic sex addict behavior. Or maybe it was his grandiosity. Maybe he simply believed himself to be so powerful and invincible that he couldn’t conceive of getting caught with his pants down.

The affidavit states that Client 9 asked for “things that, like, you might not think were safe”. Translation: he didn’t want to use a condom. For the record, out of the hundreds of men that I’ve fucked, I’ve only been asked for bareback sex once, by a fool who smelled like a barnyard, and naturally, I declined. No one ever tried to slip off the condom when I wasn’t paying attention. Ever.

That Spitzer likely requested sex with out a condom, or in industry lingo, “bareback full service” (or BBFS for short) is, to me, the final word on how much of a fucking douchebag he actually is. I would have thought he’d have been the type who’d pull your hair, smack your ass, and pound you into the mattress. But the sad truth is that, in my (single) experience and in those of my former colleagues, men who ask for bareback tend to be whiners. I suspect Client 9 whined a lot that night, about how much he was paying, about why she couldn’t stay longer, about how he’d love to “take her away from all of this” and “set her up in an apartment.”

Yes, that’s about exactly right.

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